No Cussing Please

My father's mother was the embodiment of southern gentility. She was a good Christian woman, founder of her church, selfless, talented and modest. My father's father was a good man who drank, smoked and cussed. He was an excellent carpenter and painter. Rarely did he go to church. This disparity went unnoticed by myself until I grew up.

Grandmother did not allow liquor or cussing in her house. "Darn" was strong according to her. I once asked her why my grandfather could drink beer and cuss. She told me that beer was not liquor and that she corrected him when he did cuss.

By the time I was in college I was cussing. Just damn, hell and shit. Still in the early 70's that was pushing it for a southern sorority chick. By the time I was working and living on my own I became inured to the f-word but used it sparingly. Due to the respect I had for my grandmother I controlled my language around her.

One summer, the whole family was in town, visiting the grands and me. We gathered at grandmother's house for a meal. I decided to bake a loaf of braided bread for the meal. My grown mischievous brothers were in the kitchen with me and my grandmother. We were talking, joking and laughing while I was preparing the bread. I wanted this loaf of bread to look like the bread that came from Gottlieb's, so my concentration became intense as I braided the dough.

Well, I had a small problem when I finished the braid, the end began to unravel. I pinched it back together, it unraveled again. "Shit!" I exclaimed. Dead silence behind me. I turned around slowly. J was to my right covering his mouth looking down at his lap. S was standing right behind my grandmother gawking at me; pointing the shame finger at me. I burst out laughing while my grandmother said, "That's nothing for you to laugh at young lady. I am appalled at your language. You know better than that. Why would you want to say a word like that." As my brother mimicked her body language I continued to laugh.

My poor grandmother was astonished by my lack of shame and called me on it. I pointed to my brother behind her. She turned around and in frustration said "S, oooh you!". We all dissolved into laughter after that. She couldn't fuss at all of us!