Granny's Revenge

My grandmother was a great story teller. Every time I went to visit her I would coax her into telling stories about her life. She was born and raised in times where women's rights were unheard of. We would always give her a hard time about being subservient to my grandfather, she would tell us that she was raised to do what the "man" said to do. Usually a story would follow. This is one.

My great-grandmother, Granny, supported her husband and children by opening their house to boarders and taking in laundry. My grandmother was the only girl in a family of 6 children. All the cooking, cleaning, laundering, gardening, butchering, etc fell onto Granny and my Grandmother. Each meal was a production, breakfast was started well before the men got up, dinner(lunch) was started after breakfast and supper after dinner. Each meal had to be on time, or there would be hell to pay. On each occasion the men & guests were fed first, with the master of the house, my great-grandfather, selecting his favorites first. The women ate what was left over. The same procedure was followed for family gatherings.

I remember asking my grandmother why and didn't she miss having the whole family together at the meals. She told me that was just how things were done. I pressed her by asking her if she thought that custom was demeaning. She indicated that there wasn't much that could be done about it. I expressed to her that I didn't think it was nice or fun. She said agreed but then added more.

One of the benefits of eating after the men was that the women's conversation was uncensored. They, of course, could not introduce a subject if the table seated mixed company. They could take their time to eat without worrying if their men had everything they wanted. In other words, it was their time to relax and enjoy their meal in fellowship. The second benefit was they had control over what went on the table. Men didn't come in the kitchen and check the grocery situation out-that was woman's work! Of course, during poorer times the women's meal might have been left over biscuits and gravy, with the men getting the meat and greens. In better times, Granny would hold back enough for the women to eat as the men did. Best of all, was if she were mad with my great-grandfather she would keep his favorite cut for herself.